Parenting the Hurt Child : Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow

After reading close to 20 great books, this one is the one that gave me the most day to day good advice, information and real life case stories. This should be a prerequisite for anyone adopting. It is truly a wealth of information that is written in an easy to read format.
Great book!

Throughout this book there is an assumption that the "hurt" child is one whose biological parent(s) have abused and/or neglected their child. In far too many cases the child becomes "hurt" because overzealous child protection authorities have removed the child from it's biological parent(s)or primary care giver since birth. A classic case like this was Logan Marr (see PBS Frontline "Logan Marr" on the Internet) who became psychologically "hurt" because of her removal from her biological mother and who would not settle down and was killed by her foster carer because she would not accept the foster carer as a new parent.
For the past two years I have had to deal with my own child's real psychological "hurt" from having been unnecessarily removed into foster care and then after two years returned to me as damaged goods. Keck and Kupecky have an arrogant disregard for a child's biological and social need for its own parent(s). This book is merely a "feel good" spin justification for the far too many and unnecessary adoptions and placement of children in out of home care, something which has damaged thousands of innocent and previously unharmed children.

If you have a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) this is a book you must read. It is very informative, enlightening and helpful. It is an excellent reference to go back and read over and over. You can't change the fact a child has RAD. However, you can learn why he does what he does and how to best deal with the many behavioral issues specific to RAD. I found this book to be a eye opener, a relief (explains what you have been living through for who knows how long) and very helpful. A highly recommended read for any parent of a child with RAD, anyone considering international adoption and also for foster parents.

This book was just what I was looking for and I would recommend it to anyone who is adopting a child or fostering a child in their home - The first couple of chapters really hit home with me and the entire book offers practical advice as well as explanations for some of the feelings you and your child may be having as well as reasons for behaviors we might see.

I bought this book in desperation right after we adopted two foreign born boys, ages 7 and 9. The nine year old was totally whacked, behavior wise, and we surmised he had been abused at a young age. He would totally freak if you even tried to correct him, or if he didn't like dinner, whatever. He would sit and holler, scream, kick, bite, break his bedroom furniture, etc. for hours until he wore himself out. This book did go aways to saving our sanity, as did the fact that it improved when his English got better.