Talking with Young Children about Adoption

In my opinion, you can't read this book too early. As a matter of fact, the earlier the better.

The first thing I realized in reading this book is how young the children are/can be when they start talking and asking questions about their adoption. They're beginning around the age of three in many cases! Our son is 15 months old now and I thought I'd have several years to read this book when in reality I need to be introducing him to the word "adoption" and other phrases about our adopting him now so that he's familiar with the words by the time he can understand them.

The book gives numerous stories of children and how they ask questions and talk about their adoption. What things are important to them to know. How they talk to their friends about adoption. How we as parents need to be truthful right from the very beginning. Explaining why the parents look different from the child. Talking about their tummy-mommy and who she is and why she let someone else adopt him/her. And how the children like to act out the day their parents first saw them (hundreds of times!) and how to deal with that when the child wants to alter the story.

It also addresses the issue of parents who decide not to tell their children about adoption.

This book will give adoptive parents ideas on how to talk (what to say exactly) to their children when they ask some difficult questions. Kids are smart! They ask thorough questions about their adoption and many times they'll ask the questions years before we think they will.

This book has helped me to prepare for my son's questions, whenever they come, and has helped me to see that it's okay to be "freaked out" at the idea of talking to him about it. It's put my mind at ease because now I have a better sense of what to say and how to say it. When to say it is up to your child. We don't have a lot of choice in the matter. When they want to know, they want to know! Or they may think we're hiding something bad from them. This book will help you along the path of discussion and prepare you for some questions and feelings your adopted child may have.

Excellent book for all adoption situations!

As an adoptive parent, I have read lots of material about how to talk about adoption with my child. It was all well and good to practice what I was going to say, but the other books didn't prepare me for my son's reactions and that's where this book comes in. It helps you anticipate your child's questions and reactions to what YOU say at different ages in his or her development. Also to understand where these sometimes seemingly bizarre things are coming from.

Some of the information and approaches were helpful. However, the book reads like a vanity publication, i.e., some over-educated women with too much time on their hands felt like talking about their feelings. I thought there was too much techno/psycho-babble. Perhaps its saving grace was that it made me think about how to approach speaking with my daughter about her adoption.

Talking with your children about adoption is a potentially difficult, emotive and fraught task. This book provides examples of the types of questions that children might ask at different ages, and clear practical examples of the types of answers suitable for different ages and levels of understanding. There is always a fear that as parents, we might harm our child if we do not deal properly with the subject of 'where did I come from' . I found the book interesting, useful, and thought povoking.

My son was adopted at birth nearly 5 years ago. when I set out to find a book that would guide me through the many questions I knew would be coming my way, both from him and others, I went to my local library and poured through the many books on the subject. This book was, by far, the best one. I have read it cover to cover more than once and it has become my "bible" when taking to my son. This book actually anticipates the questions he will be asking me AND in the order he will ask them. I'm amazed at how accurate it is! Don't miss the chance to share the adoption experience in a way that is comfortable for you and most of all comfortable for your child.