How To Lose Friends And Alienate People: A Memoir

Toby Young's story begins with a nebulous one-month job offer from "Vanity Fair" in New York. Having just closed his British journalistic enterprise, Young is delighted and hopes to achieve great things in America. His missteps begin with Day 1 - he reports to work dressed in his (British) version of casual, and finds himself mistaken for a messenger. Then en route to his "office," he's shown a broom closet that's his, which he takes to be his changing room - actually, it's an office he shares with another.

An early task consists of writing up selected society event photos - however, when he calls the subject up for background information she hangs up in response to his nativity about N.Y. society. Next he loses his British girlfriend after she comes to visit for a weekend, and suffers several severe frights. Then a benign comment leads to chastisement for sexual harassment, which Toby learns is really a means of keeping dweebs like himself away from the high-society models. Trying to avenge being upstaged by his office-made, Toby hires a stripper for his birthday - turns out its also "Bring your daughter to work day!" Hearing an acquaintance refer to a celebrity while talking to someone Toby didn't know, he jumps into the conversation with negatives points - then learns the other person is the celebrity's publicist.

Throughout "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People" Toby is repeatedly trying to gain entry to "in" events, and usually turned away, or thrown out almost as soon as he gets in. Clearly he feels ill-at-ease - noting that Americans are much more status-conscious than Brits. The end of his Vanity Fair tenure comes soon after a major article on London that he proposed - seems like he had a "brown thumb."

He applies to the New York Times - his material is returned without comment, except that every spelling and grammar error is circled. Toby then descends into nightly binges, and gets written up in a gossip column.

Meanwhile, his love life is doing as bad, or worse. Toby tries a $195 dating coach, but it's no help. At the same time, a British friend that went to the U.S. at about the same time is doing great - further deflating his ego.

Gets a six-month job as writer at "Gear," and meets a new girl - also from England. They become friends, but he decides he's not in love. She moves onto an American lawyer - just as he realizes he is in love with her. Fortunately, a year later they separate, he pursues her back across the Atlantic, proposes (turned down), but is accepted for a three-month trial period. Toby passes, they marry,

Review after review, from regular people on here to book critics to even the librarian. ALL of them tell me how drop dead hilarious this book is. As funny as "Clerks" one tells me. Well it did have its moments, but it was only halfway funny.

Sure it was fun to read how a loser lives, and his stories were funny. But HILARIOUS?! Nope... understand he has a "sequel" of sorts out. I'll borrow it from the library this time, at least then all I'll waste is my time!

I'm wondering how long Mr. Young has been living under the impression that he should, indeed, pursue a career in writing...too long, meeethinks.

Put down the No.2, Toby...milk n' cookie time is over. Maybe you should sit on the bench for a while and ponder the meaning of life. At the very least, quit with the ego-tripping and learn a new language...as you seem to be having trouble with your native tongue.

What a waste of time! I gave up on this peice of drivle! Who wants to read about such a miserable creaton.

Well, the books is very funny (I caught myself laughing hard some times... Luckily it is only me in my room, so noby thought I was crazy) and everything but I think, as he is a journalist, he wrote some long, boring stuff about the differences about the US and the UK. I mean, if I were an American or a Brit, I think that might be interesting but... Really.... Furthermore I dont like to read much about government stuff or history stuff...

I find the book funny (with occasional rambling, in my point of view) and, mark you, Toby portraits very well how it is to be a journalist and how it is have a journalist's life. I could see how a magazine works inside its HQ and now any dream I had to become one, is gone. Journalism is not my cup of tea, indeed.

I highly reccomend this book for those who wanna have a fun read and for those who want to become a journalist.