The Senator's Wife

Having lived and worked in Washington, I was amazed at the number of readers who thought Delia was a martyr for this self-centered senator. In fact, she was an admirable opportunist. She figured out a way to have her man, have her own relationships and have Paris! Not that this would be everyone's choice - I mean, why get/stay married at all? But for Delia, who was somehow not just loyal to this man but adored him, it was a relationship that worked. I found that Miller's recitation of Delia's most quotidian moments - the little drink in the evening, accompanied by her favorite cheeses, etc. - was compelling in that it did not paint a portrait of a woman who was depressed, lonely and resentful. It painted her as making a life. She obviously dressed well, did her hair, wore red lipstick, etc., etc., and the reference to Paris was not coincidental. Many many European women are in marriages that resemble Delia's - even if their husbands are NOT in politics. [It was also why my Italian father inculcated in me the critical importance of "always having your own money." Delia obviously had access to the Senator's money, to live a life that she might not have chosen but which seemed to make her content.

As for Meri, I thought like many other readers that she was the ultimate self-centered opportunist, and a total baby. However, she too married a self-centered man. What we don't read about explicitly - but Miller deftly suggests - is that Meri's young professor husband also has his own ego-maniac issues as evidenced in his spending way too much time on campus and always has a lot of work to do on weekends that takes him away from Meri. Hmmm, wonder what HE was up to; Miller doesn't have to say this explicitly. If a follow-up book is called "The Professor's Wife" no spouse of any college professor would be surprised: the classroom is a "target-rich" environment for extramarital dalliances, as one of my MBA classmates asserts.

Finally, like many readers I found myself wondering toward the end of the book what was the point of the continued recitation of the daily lives of these people? I forced myself late in the evening to read the last 50 pages bleary-eyed because I couldn't stand the investment anymore! When it finally came and I read the explanation for the unfortunate turn of events, I was disappointed, but I also think it totally summed up the characters, and especially the character whose thoughts we read in the end. In any event, I too did not love this book, and if the setting had in fact been Washington itself we would have had many more juicy revelations, even with Delia in the same town as her philandering husband. It happens, that's how they live there, and that's the price they pay.

These are not the words of the unfaithful senator, but of the senator's wife, Delia.

Once again Sue Miller gives us a brilliantly written novel. When one reads Sue Miller one can see, smell, hear, taste as she describes. One is in the room, in the car with the characters, seeing their expressions, listening to their conversations. Miller has an uncanny understanding of human nature in all its ineptitude and messiness, as well as, in its amazing love and courage.

This is essentially the story of two women and their marriages: Delia, the senator's wife, who separates from, yet remains lovers and friends with her philandering husband, Tom, and Meri, a thirty-seven-year-old newly-married woman who moves in next door to Delia with her husband, Nathan.

(Spoiler Alert!) Delia's inability to give up her relationship with Tom is as destructive as Tom's inability to stop being unfaithful. Tom has a stroke, and Delia thinks he is finally hers now to take care of and keep all to herself. Yet Tom is still Tom even in his mostly incapacitated state. His lifelong weakness, combined with Meri's self-centered, ego-driven willingness, prove to be both Tom and Delia's final undoing. Delia finally says enough is enough, and she retreats, a broken old woman, to her daughter, Nancy, who, like so many others, could never understand her mother's devotion to her cad of a father in the first place. Nancy promptly places Tom in a nursing home. Meri lies to her husband about what took place that made Delia leave so abruptly, gets away with lying, and essentially lives happily ever after.

Many readers disliked the book because of the ending, and because it's difficult to become fond of or to respect these characters. Certainly one would have wished, at least, for all Meri's seeming love and admiration for Delia, that she would have been incapable of that betrayal. Yet, when one thinks carefully, such an ending wouldn't be in keeping with the Meri Miller has portrayed all along. Meri has always been promiscuous, sneaky, weak, love-starved, and self-centered. She is ever Meri, as Tom is ever Tom. One is glad that Delia, at least, finally has had enough and walks out, although, sadly, she does so much too late.

Miller doesn't ask us to like her characters, or to agree with them, or to condone their choices. She simply presents them as they are and forces the reader to deal with them. This, in my view, shows a great respect for her readership, as we are left to sort out our feelings about these characters and their choices long after we've finished the book.

I had enjoyed the writing, up until near the end of the book. Made me sorry I had wasted my time. Did the author just not know how to end the book with something plausable? It was annoying.

This really was a very strange and sad story. it took me a while to get into the book and, initially, I had no feel whatsoever for Delia. That changed once there were chapters that focused on her, and I found myself liking her, although I could not quite "get" her. I really was unable to understand her motivation to stay in her marriage. Initially, I liked the Meri character, but over the chapters, I came to find her quite unlikeable in her narcissism and selfishness. And both Nathan and Tom felt totally elusive to me. And there seemed to be a total disconnect with the Meri at the very end in 2007.

That said, the novel had a very literary feel, and I agree with another reviewer who commented that it was reminiscent of Anne Tyler. I think this would be a worthwhile read for a book club.

This was my first experience with this author and my last. I hated the book. I kept asking myself why would anyone put up with a cheating lying husband for 25 years. It was so improbable to want me to beleive that a woman who hasn't lived with her husband for 20 years and has a completely separate life is still so in love with him that she takes him back once in a while to have sex, even into her 60's. What exactly is the love based on if you are not sharing the experiences of life that help grow and bond your life together. It made no sense to me. I kept asking myself why is she staying married I don't see the love between them, only betrayal and lies. Meri's character was so whiny, disloyal and unpleasant I was hoping her husband would just leave her. I didn't see anything about her that was ever happy and she was a devious liar. The ending floored me and made me sick. It was thoroughly depressing. After ruining the lives of two elderly people Meri ends up the happy one with the husband and childern. I guess in this case it pays to be selfish,bitchy, sneaky, and untrustworthy.