The Trouble with Boys: A Surprising Report Card on Our Sons, Their Problems at School, and What Parents and Educators Must Do

This books makes you think about how the US school system has swung the pendulum so far in the direction of girls that boys get lost. Hopefully there can be more balance in the future.

This book is a follow on to the author's Newsweek cover story about the widening gap between boys and girls academic performance in the United States. She makes the case that, just as we rallied in the 90s to help girls catch up to boys in math and science, we need to do the same for boys in reading and writing. The book cites a great deal of research from schools across the United States to show how this phenomenon is taking shape. It's really interesting stuff. Essentially, education in the US uses teaching methods that favor girls. At times the book is a little like a text book, but it offers startling conclusions that any parent with school-aged children needs to understand.

Another book I came across this week that I really enjoyed and recommend to parents is The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book.

A wealth of information, ideas and resources for those who are concerned about the issue and working to make it better. My only minor quibble is the title which could be read to mean the problem is the boys. However, make no mistake, the tenor and tone of this book strikes the stark opposite conclusion. The problem is not boys rather what we have been doing to them. It is a balanced approach which I think hopes to avoid the polemic politicized rancor and ire this topic inspires among gender feminist groups like the AAUW and similar advocacy groups that utilize resources and strategies to undermine efforts of those hoping to improve the lives of boys. If interested in the politicized nature I would recommend locating and reading reports by the aforementioned. Ms. Tyre goes beyond and gets down to the nitty gritty and presents ideas to consider, practical solutions and includes numerous resources to tap into. I was most interested in the research surrounding teaching by phonics. A good solid book for those of us committed to effecting change for the benefit of boys, and moving beyond the peripheral and unfortunate efforts to make this a political platform.

I bought this as a present for my mom and she seems to really love it so far.

I found this book to be very interesting. I don't have a son, but three of my closest friends each have boys the same age, three women who don't even know each other. One is white, the other is black, and the third is Hispanic, living in different parts of the country, with different levels of education and career success. I have bought copies of this book for each woman, although now their sons are almost adults; it will at least confirm what they knew all along - their sons weren't broken.

What concerned me early on was the fact that I would receive an almost identical phone call from each one, wanting to talk about the latest 'problem' each one was having with their son, usually a conflict between their child and the public school teacher. This was my first realization that something was desperately wrong in our country with the way that boys were being disrespected by their classroom teachers and denigrated by the entire public school experience.

Teachers were making diagnoses (he might be autistic, he's got some mental challenges, I think he might be deaf), all of which proved to be completely wrong. I knew each of these children and encouraged the mothers to stand up for their sons, who were each seven years old at the time these labels started being applied. I told each one 'Tell your pediatrician that you need a referral to a specialist. They're the only ones who can confirm a diagnosis - a classroom teacher has no right to play doctor and tell you what they think is wrong with your child.' In each case, the specialists diagnosed what the mothers and their pediatricians already knew - there was nothing wrong with these boys.

As the boys got older, I heard from each mother, in different states of the country, with identical descriptions. 'The teacher says he's aggressive.' 'The teacher says he never sits still.'

One eventually decided to homeschool her son, and went into personal bankruptcy and financial ruin because of this choice, which to this day she does not regret, because she saved her child. He didn't have a teacher scolding him for being a boy - inquisitive, always out of his seat, curious about his world.

The second refinanced her paid-for house so that she could take all of her children out of public school and put them into a private school. This mother has no regrets about her decision, even though it meant having to go back to work and postponing her own plans to attend college.

The third mother had none of these options available to her, and she had no choice but to keep her son enrolled in a public school, although she was constantly questioning and challenging the teachers, the school and their opinions about what was wrong with her son. Eventually he filled out the labels that had been stamped on his forehead, despite his mother's love, attention and hands-on involvement in his education, and he has become what his public school teachers predicted - an aggressive male, charged as an adult, at fifteen facing an adult prison sentence.

My only reason for explaining all of the above is to confirm 100% that what the author writes about is completely true. The basic rights and educational needs of American boys are not being met by the public school experience. If this was happening to our girls, it would be called a national crisis worthy of investigation and serious reforms. Boys are not girls and the educational system needs to recognize and respect their differences, rather than continuing to demand that boys be less aggressive, sit quietly and stop talking.