Coping With Your Difficult Older Parent : A Guide for Stressed-Out Children

I sent this to my mother who is taking care of my grandmother with dementia, who, despite her condition, had resisted all types of care and driven dangerously against the doctor's orders. My grandmother had even locked caregivers out of the house, and hidden spare car keys around the house. My mother said every page of "Coping with your Difficult Older Parent" she turned to was helpful, and addressed difficult situations in a practical manner. It gave her and my aunt the courage to take away the car keys, offer my grandmother long-term care options, and move forward with making my grandmother's life more comfortable (and they even resolved some personal issues along the way). This book has provided a healthy "outside" voice for an overwhelming situation.

This book provided a great resource for us in dealing with a difficult mother-in-law. We still have problems with her, but the book has help identify how to cope with some of her behaviros and we seem to be able to cope much better.

If you are dealing with a difficult situation with your older parent, it will help to read this work. The authors present different personality and communication styles that are common toboth the older adult and the adult child. They then describe why older adults say some of the things they do how to respond in a way that is firm yet respectful of the needs of both adult and child. If you had the time and the inclination to think about what these authors suggest you might of come up with some of the same conclusions. They have done it for you. I refer to mine often.

Son!

Don't buy this book. I'll be good.

I'm not going to the track anymore! See! I'll stop gambling away your inheritance. I'll even stop having sex with that woman. Point is, you don't have to chain me to the radiator.

Remember that time I took you to the baseball game? Wasn't that fun! Ha Ha.

This book is very easy to use as an aide in dealing with difficult aging parents. It starts with a questionnaire which helps categorize what type of difficult person you are dealing with and then has chapters dealing with each category. It includes lots of real examples and gives tips as to how grown children can best deal and cope with the different situations that arise. It also includes an extensive Bibliography for further reading. I recommend this to those who are having a hard time with their aging parents. (It does not address dealing with alzheimers though).

--Karen Arlettaz Zemek, author of "My Funny Dad, Harry"