Coping With Your Difficult Older Parent : A Guide for Stressed-Out Children

Although there are some good points in this point, the overwhelming view seems to be that the younger folks have to continually sacrifice their self esteem, personal values, and integrity to coddle an elder. There are some folks who are mean and nasty all of their lives and seem to get worse as they age. The tactics do not work on these people and they are quick to tell you about "your tactics" or demean you for trying. Don't fool yourself that this will work 100% of the time.
Too many self help books with quick fixes and trite responses

This books prove to be helpful in dealing with a difficult older parent. It provides inside information on how to handle difficult situations with examples. I have not finished reading the book but am re-reading some of the situations to get them imprinted in my brain, so when I have to deal with a difficult adult I will know how to handle the situation. I find it is especially hard to deal with a difficult parent, because being the child, I really don't want to tell my parents what to do or upset them, but this book has lots of helpful suggestions that eases those situations for all parties to the situation. I highly recommend this book if you are dealing with an elderly parent who is difficult to deal with.

I read this book a couple of times with about a year in between readings. The first time I read it, my difficult parent had not yet developed dementia, but he had afterward. I found it interesting the first time around, but absolutely got it the second time around. It focuses on the rights your parents have as human beings, but also asserts the importance of stepping in when it's necessary to protect your loved one - something that I needed to face by the second reading. I approve - I think anyone wondering if they're doing the right thing will enjoy this book.

This book is pretty good for what it does: it gives some advice to anyone who is dealing with aging parents who are of certain difficult personality types. I especially like how the author focuses on the fact that it is important for adult children to remember that they do not have to assume the roles they once had as children. She specifically outlines how to respond to some frustrating manipulative parenting behaviors. In this respect, the book is a reminder that one can control previously automatic responses to difficult parents. The drawback to this book is that it is more anecdotal than I had hoped. What I would recommend is getting this book - if you have a truly difficult aging parent - in conjunction with Joy Lo Verde's Complete Eldercare Planner. That book is more practical and complete in dealing with the practical stuff that can be really stressful (finding longterm care, talking to your parents about care options, financial considerations, wills, etc...).

My copy of this book has many pages underlined, marked and highlighted. I have used it in almost every conversation with my 86 year old mother and it has made a huge difference for both of us. I can treat her honorably and respectfully and yet still not pretend that she is someone she has never been. This is a very practical guide and I have recommended it to many of my friends who have found it equally helpful.