Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

This is the most negative, depressing collection of unscientific and undocumented drivel I have ever read. I would recommend that you DO NOT read this book if you are considering adoption. If you give any credence to the author, you will come away feeling that no one should ever adopt a child, lest the child be tormented by "toxic shame" and worse from day one ever after. Yes, many adoptees have unique feelings and circumstances that they need to have validated and that need to be addressed, but this book should not be used as a guidebook or source of information in that regard. If you still want to read this, check it out of a library, don't spend your money on it.

I am a clinical mental health therapist. I've worked with teens and adults, and have encountered quite a few "adoption issues" in counseling. For example, Reactive Attachment Disorder or adult adoptive parents who puzzle why their adult adopted children are hurt and angry. This book, which I have loaned to several parents, seems to have done wonders for their own understandings. Mothers have returned the book to me, telling me in gushing emotions how powerful and insightful the book has been to them.

Particularly helpful are the chapters about the child's anger being misdirected against the adoptive parent. This is a heartbreaking experience that baffles a lot of parents, but the chapter in this book that explains the phenomenon is very well written.

I appreciate the first-person tone of the writing, which also incorporates research, clinical findings, and the accounts of many other adoptive parents and adopted children.

I've purchased additional copies and have made this book a staple in my library because of its smart sensitivity, spot-on research accuracy, and reading ease (it is not a clinical textbook; it's written for all of us).

I have just begun reading this book but can already tell it is going to be very helpful for my husband and I and how we bring up our daughter. It is essential to know these things beforehand and to be equipped for how to deal with them.

This is an awesome book and filled with valuable and useful information for ALL parties within the adoption triad!

I would NOT recommend this book to anyone considering adoption and the recommendations that Ms. Eldridge gives for adoptive children could be very psychologically harmful to children.