Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

I felt the book was a great set up to screw up your adopted child. I also felt that the author has deeply embedded issues that she needs to deal with. I do agree that their is a grieving process though. I also agree that infants do sense more then we give them credit for. I felt the book was very defeating for adoptive parents. I want what is best for my child and I felt that this book would not be for us or for my child. I am sorry her parents are dead. They did the best that they could in raising the author. No upbringing is ideal but it may be better then being brought up in an abusive home (like I was). Maybe she should thank the people who do adopt because their is alot of "anti-adoptism" out there. My child would have been in an emotionally neglectful household and be brushed aside had she stayed with the birth mom. Adoption is a special event and not an event that is suppose to scar someone for life.

this book would be beneficial to anyone that is adopting. This gives the prospective of the child that has been adopted after becoming an adult. This book really gave me more of an insight on how the adopted child can feel about being adopted.

As an adoptive parent, I read this book hoping for insight into parenting my adopted son. I've since consulted with well adjusted adopted grown-ups who laugh at the suggestion of "uncovering one's grief". To quote my adopted friend, "It sounds like the author has taken one to many therapy sessions." The authors "problems" are the natural path that even biological children sometimes take, regardless of how well they are brought up. Sherrie, you need to understand that your parents (not the people that donated the biological material to make you) loved you as thier own, period. God gave you a free will and a soul.

And to all the pre-adoptive & adoptive parents who live in outer space! If the truth scares you--please DO NOT READ!
You may suffer from buyer's remorse and your "purchase" may have feelings that do not mirror yours. It's true! Face it, you have entered into a social contract where the product/child did not have a choice--and suffered a terrific loss. No matter which way you slice it.
Some reviewers say the author makes "sweeping generalizations". Of course she does. Just like a book on addiction makes generalizations about addicts--most are true. Ms. Eldridge does too.
The adoptive parents (most of the one star negative reviewers) are kidding themselves. If you think these aren't issues for your children, then you're monsterously self centered, and your "good" relationship with your child is a sham.
For the APs who give it good reviews, bless you for your compassion. You're good parents indeed.

I just bought this book because I am in the process of adopting a 5 month old baby girl. I wanted advice on how to talk to her when she is older about her being adopted. However, I found while reading the book there is allot advice that can be used when dealing with your biological children as well.
I was not adopted but find the whole fear of abandonment was something I felt as a kid and wish my parents had some of what is in this book to of help me overcome my fears.
If you are adopting a child or already have I really recommend this book!! It is very smart on the advice it gives to you and I think someday when my adoptive daughter needs words to express to me what she wants and needs to understand I can hand it too her and tell her, no holds barred, I am here for you and you can ask me anything. What I don't know I will help you find the answers too.