A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

It was the year 2000, I'd been married almost 20 years -- the kids were pretty much grown and I stood at the edge of my marriage - terrified that I'd jump off and terrified that I wouldn't. Okay, maybe terrified is a dramatic term, but that is how I felt. I truly did not know WHAT to do with my "self" even after many years of intentional inner growth, happiness and many blessings. I didn't know if I needed to be REALLY alone or how to be the ME emerging AND be married. There was no other man - no big outer change I sought...I just felt trapped. Thankfully, a friend told me about this book and I devoured it with gratitude. Joan Anderson is a ballsy, brave wayshower -- she's HONEST about the details I wondered about and I can't begin to say how grateful this wasn't a story about another man. Eight years later, I am HAPPY in me--my life and my marriage AND I am still learning - still growing. And now, Joan has THE SECOND JOURNEY out -- her story about the 10 years after writing her first book. Again, she helps so many as she helps her own life. For those who have found A YEAR BY THE SEA inspirational and helpful, please write to Meryl Streep (or her agent/publicist) or your favorite strong 50's actress to consider pushing this story to be made into a movie. This book has helped so many women, men and their marriages! Thank you Joan Anderson!!

This is a easy, great book to read. Great things come in small packages. Joan was able to take a usually negative situation and turn it into something very beneficial. It's all in your perspective. The best thing I got out of this book was "Don't force things, let them happen". You can let go of a lot of anxiety by doing this. Joan did this in her year by the sea. She was able to slow down and appreciate things in a new light. She discovered new ways to enjoy life and skills that she never imagined she would have. She recreated herself for the better and it was very inspiring to go along with her in her journey. She took a break from her life, rebuilt herself and provided her family and friends with a much stronger, vibrant person. This is a good, uplifting book that will help any woman feel empowered.

Very interesting journey and the following books written by Joan Anderson expand on her experiences.

Although Joan Anderson is a good and insightful writer at times, I have to side with the negative reviews of "A Year by the Sea." Her journey to renewed midlife identity isn't just narcissistic, it is as trite as they come. Looking to the natural world is hardly a new idea for metaphorical meaning. "To everything there is a season" has been around since Moses rode in baskets. The "stale marriage at midlife" is a big cliche as well. Then there is Joan Erickson, the old woman who appears in a fog and fills Joan Anderson with perspective. I mean, really? Why are elderly people always so insightful? There are plenty of old people who have no wisdom whatsoever.

There is also the problem of the unreliable narrator. At one point, Anderson mentions that she is permanently estranged from her brother. She mostly blames his wife for this. Later in the text, Joan talks about strained relations she has with her two adult sons. The culprit? You guessed it, their wives. My conclusion is that Joan Anderson is a difficult woman herself. To not get along with so many in-laws is telling. She offers little insight into this in her self appraisals, though. I have a feeling the writer and the woman are two very different people. This is supposed to be a book about identity, but Anderson doesn't seem to know herself very well.

This book reminded me a bit of "Drinking the Rain" by Alix Kates Schulman, which I liked a great deal more. I'm not opposed to "the sea is bringing me home to myself" concepts, but Joan Anderson's approach is flat and unoriginal.

A Year by the Sea by Joan Anderson is a decision chronicle. After her children leave home Anderson realizes her marriage does not satisfy her needs, and more importantly, after a lifetime of taking care of others, she realizes she does not even know what her needs are. When her husband has a job transfer, instead of going with him, she takes a year off to live alone in the family vacation home on Cape Cod.

This book chronicles Anderson's soul searching effort to prioritize her own needs. Her goal: discover new motivation and purpose for life. She must make decisions. She examines everything. She determines to discard patterns that no longer feed her soul, whether that means being honest about her sex life, letting go of her marriage, or NOT fixing meals when her family comes to visit.

At the beginning of the year Anderson doesn't know what the outcome of her search will be. She writes honestly and intimately. She details transitions everyone needs to make at new junctures in life. By letting the reader in on her process she challenges them to examine their own lives. A Year by the Sea is everyone's story.