A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman

A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman
This superbly written book evoked thoughts and feelings that made me ponder many events, relationships, and my evolving self. Although I am happily married, the book spoke to me at a very personal level. Kathe

I just re-read "A Year by the Sea," and I loved it as much as I did the first time I read it! Joan Anderson's story is interesting enough in and of itself. Her kids are grown and her marriage has grown stale, so when her husband informs her he's taken a job out-of-state and they need to move, she decides to go off to their summer cottage on the cape for awhile to be alone. She ends up spending a year by the sea and makes some amazing discoveries about herself, like the fact that she has unconsciously sacrificed important parts of herself in trying to please and meet the expectations of others.

But what makes the book even better is her writing style. It pulls you in and you can't wait to hear what she'll say and do next. For instance, at one point when she's feeling alone and experiencing anxiety, she notes, "I want to trust the hours, but waste them instead. I've never been so close to myself, but somehow we can't seem to make friends."

She has a lot of experiences during her year by the sea - swimming with seals, becoming a clam digger, meeting Joan Erikson, and reconnecting with her husband...but the main thing she does is finally find and free herself.

It's a great book that inspires women to get in touch with themselves and live a more authentic life!

Ms. Anderson does what many of us dream of doing: taking an independent vacation from a lifeless marriage. But most of us dont have the luxury of having a home by the sea where we can escape.
Even so, I admired her moxie in stretching out toward independence, and in trying to "unstifle" her emotions. She describes what many of us think, in our heart-of-hearts.

As a woman who divorced after a very long marriage, I could relate to much of her thoughts. I didnt like the ending, though.

I had to read this book for my book-club. Thank goodness I was able to get it from the library and didn't have to buy it.
The book was tiresome, tedious, narcisisstic and at times, frankly unbelievable. The first conversation with Joan Erikson reads as if scripted for a made-for-TV movie. Joan, "It's about action and touch" she says , as if she knows. "That's where the wisdom is - in the senses - stepping out on a gray day, daring to be different. There's no-one as foolish as us right now. Thank goodness! We can be in a fog all by ourselves! I love the grayness of it. The mist sort of wraps itself around our thoughts, so they can take hold".

Give me a break.

As another reviewer wrote, Anderson insists on dragging in metaphors and hitting us over the head with them. The seals, the fox, the trickling sand - enough already.
As to the reason she went on her sabbatical - it appears she married someone so radically opposite her in many respects, she maybe would have been happier with another man. The fact that she raised two sons who are happliy married themselves is maybe a testament to her husband more than her - she mentions that they are always happy in his company. "Their affection for him is more readily apparent than their feelings for me".

Hmm - I wonder why?

This is one woman's story of her own year-long time-out. It is easily readable in a day or two (or a few hours, if you have that much time to yourself). The thoughts the author shares, however, will stay with you; they require much more reflection time. It is thoughtful, humorous in places, and uplifting. A good start for beginning your own journey into the last half of life. I ordered several copies for friends. I recommend following this book with Anderson's "A Weekend to Change Your Life" which guides you into your own retreat and reflection on the path(s) you have taken and will continue to take. But read this one first.