The Boomer Burden: Dealing with Your Parents' Lifetime Accumulation of Stuff

Having just lost my mother this summer, I wish had found this book sooner. I now am responsible for taking care of my surviving father. This book has helped me understand a lot about why my parents did a lot of the things that drove me crazy. While a lot of the chapters are about dealing with siblings, I'm any only child, the book still helped me through the process of taking financial and legal responsibility for my father. I especially liked the part,where she explained how people from the "greatest generation" accumulated everything, and how when the time comes, we need to part with the accumulation. Not just pack it up, to clutter up our homes. I just wish I had heard of this book a year ago, because I would have recognized that there was something terribly wrong with my mother, and perhaps I would still have her.

This is a book that is a 'must read' for all adults. The advice given by the author is based on her
professional skill and practical experience.

I chose the perfect time to crack and read this book. My father and mother both spent significant time in the hospital last summer and they are getting up in years. The term "pack-rat" is also an understatement in describing them, they have multiple dwellings and outbuildings and all are stuffed. This book is about the delicate task of getting older parents and their baby boomer children doing everything they can to resolve property issues before it is too late for the parents to be involved. It is such a sensitive manner, because it involves the issues of facing your mortality, dealing with the thought or presence of a loss, the lifetime of memories that a baby boomer has, and the almost certain presence of multiple grandchildren.
Merely one generation ago when children generally did not drift far away from their parents, there was constant physical contact between parents and their children. In many cases, they shared the same dwelling or had separate residences on the same land. Things are different now. In the modern world, children generally set up residence some distance away and lose track of what their parent's dwellings are like. Many of the parents also lived through the depression and so keep anything that could possibly have value. Hall recounts instances of dwellings packed with newspapers, old plastic containers, empty glass jars and old magazines that have taken years to accumulate. The elderly parents are often reluctant to explain to their children exactly what their assets are and who should be the one to receive them. Finally, as is the case in every endeavor involving humans and assets, the death of a parent often brings out the base element of greed. Not only among the descendents, but often among friends and neighbors of the deceased and it can appear before death if the person is mentally deficient. All of this in combination creates a veritable mine field of danger and Hall does an excellent job in describing ways you can prevent their being laid, detect them and even defuse them when encountered.
I plan on implementing several of the suggestions put forward in this book and I strongly encourage people on both sides of the parent - boomer relationship to read this book with an open heart and open mind. Issues of life, death and inheritance are extremely difficult and the best way to handle them is early and with openness, honesty and without passion. Hall explains how to do all of these things in order for you to do the best you possibly can in a bad but unavoidable situation.

My husband and I have survived the deaths of our parents, and how I wish we'd had this book to help us sort through the stuff. I'm glad that we've discovered it now, however. We will use this valuable tool with our children to plan along with us to better prepare for our passings.

This book is broken down into fifteen easy-to-read chapters with information boxes and ending with "What Do I Do Now?" checklists. At the end of the book, the author has kindly added four convenient appendixes: "Your Complete Parent Care Checklist," "Helpful Resources," "Documents and Information to Locate," and "Wish List Spreadsheet." Chock full of real life experiences and tips to help the most difficult times go more smoothly, every household could use this handy resource as a guide.

Author Julie Hall has done us all a favor by writing "The Boomer Burden" , an invaluable resource that helps parents [especially those who are aging] prepare their children for the inevitable task of liquidating their estate once they pass on. As I read this book, I found myself wishing I had it a few years ago when I was helping my boomer-generation husband sort out his parents' estate. How I wished his parents had been able to read this book when they were still alive - many of the chapters and anecdotes here reflected what many of us go through in coping with the deaths of older parents and relatives.

The book is written in an easy to read format and is not steeped in any dense jargon - what could be typically termed a morbid and uncomfortable subject is deftly handled by author Julie Hall and I have to say I am impressed by how down-to-earth the book is. The book is divided into several chapters:
First Signs [the importance of paying attention to signs of one's parents' aging/health/emotional problems]
Planning for the Inevitable [recommended steps that can be taken to face these problems]
Where's The Will [recommends what to do in the case of parents' who have not made wills or put their affairs in order]
When Reality Sinks In [further steps to take once problem areas/concerns have been established such as helping parents organise their stuff, obtaining power of attorney etc].
The Hearse doesn't have a Trailer Hitch [how to help aging parents and even ourselves minimise clutter and dispose of unwanted stuff]
Relatively Speaking [how to deal with estate liquidation AND troublesome/meddlesome relatives , I especially liked the profiling of the seven types of relatives:)]
Scammers, Schemers, and Other Scoundrels [how to protect frail and uninformed parents from manipulative opportunists]
The Nitty-Gritty of Dividing Your Parents' Estate [the process of estate liquidation]
But What Is It really Worth? [I especially wished my late in-laws had been able to read this as they were both collectors and never got around to itemising or valuing their collection, and now my husband [an only child] and I are left to deal with it.
Where do I begin? [A list of things to do before parents' passing and also after]
How To Clean Out Your Parents' Estate
Right, Wrong and In Between [covers decision-making regarding parents' affairs]
I Will Never do this to My Kids [steps WE can take to set our affairs in order, beginning with the present]
Be Good to Yourself
Mission Accomplished!

I have set out the chapters in the book above so as to provide a clearer picture as to how well-thought out and organised the book is. It is indeed an indispensable resource for older parents and adult children that addresses many issues we often think about but are afraid or uncomfortable to voice out. I plan to get copies for my parents and siblings and recommend the title to my friends.