Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free

As you may have guessed, there are both lies and truths in this book. However, they don't all come from the source that you might have thought. I'm afraid Demoss herself gives voice to certain lies that devoted Christian women, namely wives, have in regards to their husbands and how they should behave. Mixed with this are other more general views towards women as a whole, many of which Demoss is correct about.

First, the good stuff. While Demoss's view can definetly be defined as complimentarian, she is not one of those to encourage practical worship of the husband, as some over-the-top Christians are wont to do. In fact, two powerful truths that she mentions are vitally important for wives to understand. Firstly, she comes right out and says that the husband is NOT always right. Secondly, she warns wives that they are not always to submit if the husband tells them incorrectly. If hubby chooses to act sinfully, Demoss advises the wife stand away and let him take responsibility for his actions. Wise and very important advice to any woman who's been misled as to the wife's role, and Demoss is to be praised for it.

Unfortunately, not all advice for wives in this book was smart, or even safe. While Demoss admits that the husband cannot always be listened to, her overall view seems to be to cleave to the husband, at least in legal marriage, no matter what. In order to better illustrate her mis-points, I think I will adapt her method of first mentioning the lie or misconception and then explaining the faults. Here, then, are Demoss's points of advice which misfire:

Lie #1: If a woman rejects her husband's authority, she is rejecting his spiritual covering.

Nope. Never mind the authority issue, it is incorrect to think a husband may offer spiritual covering. Our only spiritual covering is Christ; no man can cover us from sin nor should he attempt to do so.

Lie #2 A: If a woman must remove herself and/or her children from a dangerous situation (i.e., her husband), she should still hold reverence for her husband's position.

Firstly, if a husband abuses his wife, he forfeits his title as husband. Secondly, if a woman flees a dangerous husband, she should remain away from him in body and soul! If she reveres him, she is still completely attached emotionally and a woman attached thus will most likely return to the dangerous man. With an abusive husband, a complete break must be made, physical and otherwise. Rule of nature: avoid the fire and you won't get burned.

B: After fleeing a dangerous husband, if a woman worsens the situation by her words or behavior, she can no longer claim God's protection.

Do I really need to explain the fault with this? To a psychologically beaten woman, this is code for, "stick with your bad husband or God will smite you!" Abused women don't need this awful guilt trip.

C: A woman should wait for her abusive husband to be restored to God's authority.

Once a man gives up his honorable title as husband, he's on his own and should no longer expect the wife's support. Nine times out of ten, a dangerous man will not change, at least not as long as the wife waits around dependent on this hope. If your husband promises counseling, let him get it AWAY from you! Until he's 100% cured (which may never happen), you're still in the danger zone.

Lie #3: Every divorce is Satan's attempt to overthrow God's plan.

I hope all the divorcees out there enjoyed that little dig. Divorce is a shame, but sometimes it's because the marriage should never have taken place. Like it or not, some marriages are harmful and in those cases, Satan would most likely be telling you to stay in it! Satan knows God's Word and he has used God's hatred of divorce to manipulate Christian women and men into staying in harmful marriages, with of course the imminent (and false) threat that God will smite them if they don't.

If you insist on reading this book, I would advise it for single women rather than married. Perhaps it's because Demoss isn't married (though to be fair, many married women have made the same blunders as she has in their advice), but her strength definetly lies in her advice to single women. Her words of true beauty and how Godly faith in yourself is better than worldly self-esteem are especially helpful. Like so many guidebooks, take with a grain of salt if you take it at all

To some extent, the title of this book turned me off. It sounded too cliche. But I'm glad I read it, because there's nothing cliche about this book. These are truths which too many of us have simply never been introduced to. It can change the way you see yourself, others, & the world around you. It's hard at times, kind of in-your-face, but it's lessons we all need to learn.

Pros: Biblically based, the "lies" are right on, uses Bible verses at the end of each chapter for additional study and to back up statements

Cons: too much information yet not much development of the topic - hard to latch onto any one thing

I bought this book for my wife and we discussed it together. This book is not the Bible, when you read it always refer back to the Bible for clarity and even better understanding. Nancy draws our attention to many things that we often overlook as Christians. I thought it needs a bit more old time gospel preaching, though.

Nancy Leigh Demoss does make many good points in this book, so I could not bring myself to give it only 1 star. However, she is so lacking in empathy for women, so condescending, that I advise anyone considering reading _Lies Women Believe_ to save their time and money.

She cherry-picks scripture to back up her claims, such as divorce is *always* a sin, ignoring the direct words of our Lord and Savior in Matthew 19. I say that if Jesus allows divorce for "immorality", then Nancy Leigh Demoss should not contradict him. She gives trivial examples of reasons women divorce, like a husband forgetting a birthday....what about incest,abuse, adultery, alcoholism?? For the record, I am not divorced, but it makes me furious to hear Christian woman encouraged to stay in abusive situations because divorce is a "sin".

She has never been married and has no children and it shows! She has no idea what is it like to raise children, to cope with closely spaced births, to cope with life with a husband, children, a job. Most Christian woman I know have paying jobs, at least part-time, and it is a necessitity, not an indulgence. I work so my family can continue to live indoors, not because I am a "raging feminist".

I could go on and on.....save your money.