If I Did It: Confessions of the Killer

I received this book as a gift and i can tell you it was one of the best gifts ever!!! The detail in it is unbelievable!!!! The way he describes every single detail makes you feel like you were right there when everything was happeneing, like you are a part of their lives. If you get this book you will not put it down!!!

I ordered the book after watching a particular episode of Oprah and completed it within 2 hours... It's definitely a haunting read, not a book to be read leisurely for sure. One's perceptions of truth, morality, right and wrong will most definitely be challenged and questioned and ultimately, perhaps such a 'quest' for the 'truth' would prove futile... We are relegated and intepellated to the position of spectator... There will always be various perspectives and takes on any one issue and I personally feel we provide value judgments and no more... No one human is omniscient enough to assert who is right and wrong.. I think the most important lesson learnt for me after reading the (fiction/non-fiction?)book is to ask myself what I can do to help victims and prevent such brutalities. I will certainly look up on how I can provide assistance to the various foundations provided at the end of the book... I would recommend it to the critical reader.

After reading the reviews, I picked up the book at a local library. I didn't purchase the book for two reasons: 1) While I understand that the profits were going to the Goldman Family, I didn't understand their need to publish the book and 2) I didn't want to add to the profits of a book that glorified a horrific crime, regardless of the reason it was published.

As a victim of a violent crime myself, I took part in what I thought was a cathartic experience of retelling my story in book about rape many years ago. My words were later turned into something that I never meant to say after the book was edited and published. I keep a copy of the book to remind myself that what is written and published is not always what people mean to say. For this reason, I was skeptical that a ghostwriter could accurately portray what O.J. Simpson wanted to say.

Don't misunderstand me. I'm not an O.J. Simpson fan. However, I don't pass judgment on a situation I know nothing about. I didn't sit for days and watch the trial on television. The most I remember about the trial was the glove incident. I suppose for personal reasons, I just couldn't stomach watching a murder trial become a statement on the racial inequality of the criminal justice system. It should have been about two people being killed and a person who was suspected of their murder.

However, after reading this book in less than 24 hours, I now understand the difference between my experience as a victim and the perpetrators of violence. As a victim, I am constantly aware that perpetrators walk the streets without paying the price for their crimes. The audacity of a person to recite such a story, in even a "hypothetical" way, is appalling. It glorifies the pain of those of us who live with trauma of the memories of crime everyday of our lives.

Furthermore, although I thoroughly understand why the Goldmans felt the need to usurp the publishing rights of Simpson and use part of the profits to help their own foundation, it still doesn't add closure to their pain. Their pain will never go away. Reading an admission of how someone brutally and carelessly murdered their beloved son doesn't remove pain that will stay with them. However, as I read, I was reminded constantly that if we don't remember the mistakes of history accurately we are doomed to repeat it.

The quality of the book was as best as can be expected for a person ghostwriting for a football player. Fenjves captured the inflection of how I've heard O.J. Simpson express himself through interviews and denials of his crimes. It was truly captivating.

However, what I felt was most compelling was the Afterword written by Dominick Dunne. Dunne captured the soul of what the circus of the "trial of the century" was about: pain. The pain of two sets of parents that lost their children too early. The pain of two children who will never live a normal life again. Perhaps everyone needs to think of those two aspects before discussing the "trial of the century" or publishing books about how the killer did it.

I was curious, I had heard a lot about this book. There is a lot of space devoted to his relationship with Nicole where he places himself in the role of victim. More often than not. I was getting really tired of reading about their relationship and how hopelessly wonderful OJ was as a boyfriend. I think I'd have been interested in hearing about what was happening during the Bronco chase a bit more. In the end, I was left feeling conflicted. Part of me felt bad for OJ, a VERY SMALL part. Much more of me figures that he had to have done it given the detailed outline of the night of the murders. Probobly out of morbid curiousity, I had a hard time putting this book down. I guess this was a good way to come clean without actually admitting it. I hope his conscience is not relieved and I'm glad he isn't making money off of this.

I wondered why OJ would decide to write a "How I Did It" book. Of course, money is a great reason. However, after reading this book, I think that he wrote the book as a way of dealing with the demons and nightmares that haunt his sleep. I believe he used this book as a tool to confess to the public "without even confessing at all". A way to ease his mind. The ghost writer did a fabulous job. I especially loved how he included his interviews with OJ in the book. He detailed OJ's threatening yet egotistical personality. OJ's huge ego, and ability to laugh about his own wife's bloody death. It was a chilling read. While OJ's has attempted to weaken his nightmares, I hope he has many sleepless and nightmare filled nights. Enjoy this life, OJ. Because when you meet God, I think He will have other plans for you.