Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

My counselor suggested this book. So being the good "student" I went out right away and purchased it. I can tell you I would gladly pay a million dollars for what's in this book (if I had it). Although, it mainly deals with people coping with alcoholics/drug addicts, it spoke to me. Each night I couldn't wait to read it and almost immediately I was able to start applying some of the suggestions. It has made such a difference in the way I'm starting to think, about myself and everything around me. It's also helped to lift the heavy despair that has been keeping me from enjoying my current relationship. I'm here on Amazon to purchase the next book, Codependency and Beyond (I think that's the title). I'm even going to give it to my partner, so that she can finally see what I've tried so hard to explain. I can't say enough good things about this book. I'm planning on writing to the author to tell her just how much this has helped me...in fact, it saved my life.

I was given some insight while reaing this book. I don't agree with everything in here, but no one is going to be completely satisfied with everything. I do not like the format or the"beatin around the bush" persay. I felt there was a lot of babbling and many tims when I thought I was getting somewhere she goes on to say...Later on in coming chapters...that is annoying. If I am on the subject now I want the meat and potatoes now, not later. She looses me a few times in each chapter with a lot of useless information I believe. The other thing is this book is reallygeared towards people who have relationships with people with many issues. I am in fact codependent, but I need a book for codependents who aren't enabling an alcoholic or sex addict, drug abuser, etc. etc. I didn't quite get that from this book. I will say it was a goo staring point and did put me in the right direction to finding out what many of my issues are and gave it a name so I may do further research on my own...mybe I'll write my own book on codependency.

Codependency is far more prevalent then one is aware. My many years in Al-Anon were very helpful but so many unanswered questions were found when I looked at my codependancy issues, that I was unaware of. Many thanks to Melody Beattie's books.

I was once in a relationship that tore me apart. I hated the guy, but I couldn't bear to think of life without him. He had be questioning my sanity and going from one extreme to the other. For two years, I poured all of myself into a relationship that was unhealthy, one-sided, and destructive. My brother recommended me to read this book when I was in the relationship, but I felt too proud and stupid to read something with "Please don't say you need me" on the cover. After the relationship ended, I was bored one day and began reading.

It was like a revelation... I didn't KNOW how much of a co-dependent relationship I was in. I really cannot recommend this book highly enough. I think there is a lot of truth and potential help for those who are miserable and lost in unhealthy relationships. Even people who are not in relationships might gain some insight and wisdom from reading this book.

This book, as well as a false "codependency" diagnosis empowered my abusive husband to continue his cruel behavior. He was horrific with constant verbal, emotional and sometimes physical abuse, and he wanted to blame it all on me. I lived in fear and torment through my entire marriage, but my abuser said it was my fault for "making" him angry with my personality and attempts to have my own opinions. He told me I needed to change to be more like him and went to therapy saying I was ruining his life. Unfortunately, his therapist didn't know the truth- that my husband was incredibly demanding, controlling, expecting and abusive. He would wait on me hand and foot, against my wishes, then berate me for hours and hours at a time because nothing I did in return was good enough. He was critical and impossible to please. So, my husband came home with the idea that he was codependent and that he was enabling me to "act out." He read this book, and decided that I was the one making him codependent and that I was the one who was abusing him by not giving into his every desire and making him happy enough. Sadly, this led him to abuse and criticize me more, and he now has even more excuse to deny responsibility for his cruel and torturous behavior. Instead of recognizing and stopping his abusive behavior, he decided that, since he was codependent, I must be the corresponding abuser. Never mind my bruises, emotional anguish and fear every time he came home! Maybe there are people who could benefit from this book, but in my case, it caused my abuser to deny his actions and escalate his cruelty. Maybe there are codependent people out there who do allow people to abuse them, but in my case, the man who behaved with some codependent mannerisms was the abuser. Things got out of control when he decided the opposite, and I moved into a domestic violence shelter.