The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child

Bar none a masterpiece on the adoption issues for the adoptee. To get other perspectives, I also recommend: Whose Child? by Kasey Hamner and Adoption Healing for birthmothers who lost children to adoption by Joe Soll.

I am an adoptee on an incredible journey to self awareness, this book was recommended to me by a very trusted person. I really like the theory of the primal wound and all its implications, and i think all these implications are at least worth considering by anyone involved in the adoption process. I was emotionally and mentally prepared to examine and consider the unsubstantiatable (this may not be a word??) ideas propagated in this work. (i use the term work loosely). I enjoyed the first few chapters as food for thought and I was able to make some connection, but as the book droned on, I began to get a sense that emotion rather than thoughtful consideration was the driving force behind this collection of words. It started as a lingering bothersome irritation deep in the back of my mind and built into a crescendo of realization that the lady the lady who wrote this thing is just the kind of person I would not like to get advice from. I have to fight violently with myself not the throw the baby out with the bathwater. I intended to send this to my adopted sister, but after trying to finish I have changed my mind. A much more balance and intelligent work tempered by reason and not propelled by emotion is the book Being Adopted, The lifelong Search for Self. I am only on page 40, but already find it much more informative and a much more valuable tool in examining my own life and feelings about my adoption. Check your self pity at the door if you want to read about yourself and don't waste you time on the primal wound. I hope I never meet the author.

I'm only half way through this book, and I've never found so many life revelations as in this book... and I've read a bunch on this subject.
I mean, solutions to problems you never thought were remotely connected to your adoption...
This book has positively changed my life (for the good!)

Nancy Verrier has successfully broken through barriers in adoption denial. I understand that many adoptees are not at all concerned about reunion. I believe that not all adoptees are in emotional turmoil over being relinquished. However, if there is any doubt, reading this book will clarify what, if any, the issues are. This is the first book I read on adoption and it prompted me to write my two books. Here's to mental health! I look forward to her next one!

Kasey Hamner, M.S., psychologist, author of "Whose Child?" and "Adoption Forum"

I found this book to be an amazingly accurate representation of my life experience. I am a happy adoptee. I had everything I wanted or needed. I had all the love in the world. That's all a baby needs, right? I came into my parents home at 13 days old. But, the pain of separation from my first mother has never left me. What can a little baby know? I know I lost her and even though it was an open arrangement, I still felt a certain abandonment. It's so true. The pain of losing my natural mother is still with me today. I feel very fortunate to have found this book and to know that I am not alone. Everything I have felt for years is now in black and white. That provides me with a lot of comfort. Thank you, Nancy Verrier.